Be Careful What You Wish For
These few simple words are burned all over my insides. How that came to be or where I heard it first? Time washed away that memory long ago. But as I sit at a bar, alone, in Bangkok, facing an upcoming Thanksgiving on a plane, alone, the words creep closer and spank me gently.
Last year I directed my first feature film, Big Dream: a story about overachieving young women around the world, I’m sure I’ve mentioned it here before. It was accepted into the American Film Showcase and while I haven’t yet sold it to desired outlets like Netflix or Amazon, embassies around the country are surprisingly chomping at the bit to bring the film, and myself, to share with their communities.
Thailand is the first stop on my tour; Zambia, Algeria, and Singapore are already lined up with more to be announced through 2016.
To know I am here, on behalf of diplomats and people who wear suits and ties and have big expensive educations is…shocking? Surprising? Interesting? I’m not sure how to file that away yet. I’ll be rolling that through my mind grapes and down in and out of my heart the next 18 days while they escort me around the country.
Regardless, here I am at a bar the color of dark chocolate, a nautilus of whiskeys, bourbons, and scotches twirling towards the sky. Jet lag engulfing my senses. And the panic attack of missing my family over the Thanksgiving holiday being held at bay only by the liquid spread before me.
When I set out to make this film I never really thought too deeply on it’s outcome. It took almost 2 years, and nearly giving up, just to get the funding in place to make the damn thing. So maybe, the real words to tattoo on my insides are: “Be Careful What You Work For.” Because you never know where your actions will lead you.
When you really try for something it’s nearly impossible to forecast the outcomes. Seems a bit ominous, no? Maybe “careful” isn’t precise enough. Careful and cautionary are terms I try to keep myself fairly unfamiliar with.
Setting out on the journey of Original Fare- as much as I put myself in the way of story- never could I have mapped out where this path would take me.
Chuck says in this Thanksgiving holiday special about building his company Pacific, they wrote a 5-year plan in the beginning and then went back to see that while their numbers may have matched where they were as a company was completely different then where they had planned.
I could never have predicted where my work has taken me this year. Bringing these stories together is not just work done on my own, but through the ideas and aid of dozens of incredible individuals who share a similar hunger; the brave who lead me into uncharted corners; the brazen who concoct crazy ideas to cover; the bold who dare drink beside me wee into the hours of the night.
And even more my friends and family who have known me always and yet love me still.
Next week for Thanksgiving so many of you will be sitting around the smell of turkey, the promise of stretched waist lines, and the comfort of those you love and love you; sharing or maybe quietly reflecting on the important moments of your year, things newly cherished, or the eternal blessings you hold dear; know I am thinking of you.
I’m so thankful my life and work brings me closer to all of you. Your stories, your passion, your support is what makes this all possible. I will never be careful and I will always work harder (see: boot photo). But what I never say enough is: thank you.
So while I’m trying to order another one or ask the cook where their chicken comes from in horribly fragmented Thai: Have the best Thanksgiving ever.
See you soon,